Updated: Dec 18, 2020
September 19th, 2018
I spent this morning getting coffee with my best friend. This wasn’t just any regular coffee morning, this was the morning we went for coffee to go over her vows for her wedding.
We used to talk about being each other’s maids of honor when we were 12 years old. I cannot believe the day has finally come. Her last few days in this world with her maiden name.
As women, we spend our young lives trying to find the right man. We search and search, but sometimes we don’t stop to appreciate the other relationships that truly help us learn how to love.
As we sat there, and she read me her vows, I cried. Happy tears, of course. I've anticipated this day for months. But I realized just how much she has taught me about love.
The love of a best friend is something that cannot be duplicated or replaced by a man. This woman has watched me grow, she knows every side of me. She knows what I look like without makeup, without façade.
She has seen me broken. She has not only seen me broken but shattered. She has watched as tough circumstances have broken me into pieces, and she’s stood there, glue gun in hand, to help piece me back together.
Sometimes, I look so put together from the outside- my adventuring, my resume, my fiancé, my friends—we all look perfect on social media. But what people don’t know, is that I struggle a lot. This woman has held me through the dark nights. She has kept me together for the last 12 years. She has been the stitching that holds together my happy social media posts.
We sat on her bed three years ago with my credit cards spread over her comforter. And I watched as she took scissors to each one of them. This is the side of me I don’t want you to see. I was loving college, but spiraling out of control. She helped me put together a budget and get my life back on track.
She has been my cheerleader, confidant, teacher, hype-woman, medical professional, therapist, stylist, enabler, and companion. That is love.
Loving someone isn't always fun. Sometimes it makes you laugh until you pee your pants. And sometimes it makes you cry until your tear ducts dry up. She has taught me what it means to have a meaningful relationship.
We have lived the ups and downs, and have seen our relationship through hardships. That is what it means to love someone.
Thank you for being my best friend. More than that, thank you for believing in me and continuing to support me in our adult lives. Thank you for being patient and compassionate. Thank you for helping me build a foundation for the relationship I have with Ras.